I spent today with Akira. And her daughter. Shopping.
Akira’s daughter Nabuko is lovely, and genuinely loves the little time she spends with her mother. It’s spring break, so she is off from school. She lives at a boarding school and is nearly as perfect as her mother. Her grandmother clearly has brought her up well, with the same expectations as Akira.
They speak at least once every day.
That’s where I fail.
I’m not good on the phone. That’s typical of my family, but I’m the worst. Mom at least has an excuse. When she was young her family had a party line. That isn’t as fun as it sounds. The phone rings, you answer it, but it’s not for you. I guess the ring was supposed to be a clue, but Mom became terrified of answering.
Ophelia calls. I wait for Mom to phone me, usually once a month. When I get on the phone, I can’t wait to get off, while Mom is afraid to say goodbye, as if it might be the last time she speaks to me. She’s pushing 60 and is in excellent health.
I don’t visit enough either. I’m just a complete failure with family.
Dinner for one at Burger King. That’s so lame.
They call it a wintery mix. How can it be Spring break if it isn’t Spring yet? It doesn’t even feel like it. I wish I had driven into the center of town.
And of course, it’s not a work night, so I’ll be gallivanting tonight. I’m frozen to the core, so I’m taking a hot shower first. Then I’ll practice some piano before bed.
Or maybe not. You couldn’t even let me finish my shower first?
Don’t worry, your body will find its way to bed.
But the practicing.
Practice in the morning. Anyway, we were ready.
Ready for what?
To fly. I thought you wanted to fly like an eagle.
It’s just a song my father listened to.
Stars, or to be more complete, I’m standing above the clouds, and there is an amazing starry sky above me. And a half moon. I’m flying. Hovering to be exact. Where am I?
About 100,000 ft straight up from your house.
Have you forgotten this thing I have about heights?
I thought it was a love/hate relationship.
I love to be on the ground, hate to be above it. I’m so far above the ground that it has ceased to be an issue. There’s no discernible gravity. My breasts are floating. And my wet hair. Shouldn’t the water be frozen?
Do you want it to be? Do you want to feel the cold?
I’ll pass on that. What are we doing up here?
You’ve floated in the void. You’ve floated in your universe, but here you need to get used to being above ground.
Why this high?
It’s so high that you won’t have a fear of falling to Earth.
That is Earth down there? And I’m still in the now?
Yes, but “now” is a fleeting term. Your body is now still in the shower, but we stand outside of time. Time moves while you are taking a break from it. That’s what a dream is. Isn’t it? Most last a millisecond of real time. They just seem like they exist in time.
So I’m dreaming?
I blink, and I’m floating above one of Uranus’ rings. The sun is little larger than the other stars. Why here?
This universe is vast and infinite. I am an infinitely small part of it.
Now I’m standing in the place with all of the globes. We are in Gaia’s multiverse. It, too, is infinite.
And likewise you are an infinitely small part of it.
We stand on my rough diamond planet facing the giant sun. The Source.
Why did you call it the Source?
I can’t call it The Truth. We are The Truth. And that Sun is part of my imagination.
An infinitely small part, yet it contains Gaia’s multiverse.
Inside that Sun? You mean metaphorically.
It has to be. It doesn’t exist without us imagining it.
It’s gone. We face each other in the void. Her hair is wet, too. What about the void? Is it infinitely large?
She’s being annoying. Infinitely large and infinitely small.
Let me guess. The void is inside me, and is both infinitely large and infinitely small. I am infinite. What is outside me?
I hesitate to use the word, but nothing, neither infinitely large nor small. Just that. Nothing.
We are everything? I thought the void was nothing.
The void contains nothing. Nothing and everything. I remind you to think of us as a concept, just like Gaia is a concept, manifested as both a Goddess and a spirit that takes the form of a living being in many of her creations. Like us, she is nothing and everything. She, too, is an “us.” In that way we are alike. We coexist, separate and one. We imagine, she creates. We cannot create without her. She cannot create without our imagination.
We stand just above the treetops in the rain. My acrophobia begins to itch, but not as much as I would expect. It is only a tiny distance from me to the ground, relatively speaking.
But if your body fell from this height, it would likely die. Life is fragile.
And the Truth?
I’m lying in bed. Apparently, my body didn’t bother to dry my hair very well. My pillow is damp, and my hair will be a rat’s nest in the morning.
The Truth remains.
Did I think that, or did she speak to me?