The view from the spires of the cathedral is much like my apartment. What was once high is dwarfed by the surrounding buildings. The streets are quiet deep into the night. Here, though, my sliver of a view over the ocean is blocked. Timothy isn’t on a passing cruise ship. He’s back in his London apartment, awaiting my arrival on Monday, blissfully unaware of my to-ings and fro-ings.
My internal soundtrack is again a slow clear string melody, with pure harmonies almost Renaissance-like. A unison choral-line floats in the center of the texture. Rhythms are simple, eternal. Heaven.
The protests waned a little today, but I am certain that tonight’s show will inspire another shitstorm from the Senator. Not only was I the featured musical act, Stephen wouldn’t let go of the Senator’s balls all night. He engaged in Letterman-like banter with me throughout the program. I was back in red, and devil references regularly crisscrossed the stage.
Tomorrow, however, the Senator’s base won’t have a focus. I’ll be back in hiding for a few days, and then out of the country. Will they follow me to London? I can’t be sure, but there will be a few days for them to settle down.
What is heaven? It is whatever I want it to be. I can go to the void and fashion my own Elysium, but what would be there? That requires too much thought. A planet in my universe would do, but which one? How do I know which one to choose of the billions that are there? How did Gaia choose Earth to center her attentions on? Did she?
I don’t choose where I go. I just go.
Earth is Hell, and it is also Heaven: a Goldilocks planet in a Goldilocks system in a Goldilocks galaxy. Earth is a double-edged sword, home of Gods, spirits, devils, wraiths, and humans. I’ve met the God(dess), and she tells me about the spirits, but I am unable to meet them. I am blind to the intricacies of her universe – multiverse.
A person walks past the front of the cathedral, pauses briefly, walks on, vigilant. Security? Spy? I can’t see the difference. There are cameras everywhere. This place is well-guarded. If they weren’t security, they were seen.
Fruity woodwind chords dance around my inner song.
Some of Gaia’s spirits are guarding the perimeter. I sometimes forget that. I can guard my own perimeter, six of me around the ground, two of me on the roof, four on neighboring hi-rises. I’ve got us covered.
Nothing to see here.
I sit on a boulder on my imagined diamond planet looking at my giant imaginary sun, in my not-imagined void. Truthy sits with me, silent, while I contemplate existence, but having her here brings me comfort. She watches, listens, learns.
Every one of my lifetimes is different, so much to learn. Eve is here, and Mary, too. Of course, they come here. The void is now for both of them, all of them. Mary’s presence is reassuring, motherly. Eve is more reckless and experimental. She and I are much alike.
What am I going to do about Timothy? Neither has an answer for me.
Play it as it comes, as we have always done.
That is an unfamiliar presence.
Not that unfamiliar.
True. It is Hildegard. She is perhaps the most self-assured of us. She knew her mind.
We appeared to know our mind. We found our self young. We played the visionary.
I found the self much older. I still have much to learn.
We always have more to learn.
Truthy still sits silently next to me. I feel the others and I feel her. I am her. We are all her. We have our hair down tonight. Stephen thought that would be good for the show – raw and a little unkempt. That is how we feel now.
That show is both in the past and in the future.
I can’t help but admire the women I have been.
As they admire you.
Finally, Truthy speaks. I feel unworthy.
All of us have felt unworthy. All of us have had trials.
This is mine, and I’m totally unprepared.
You are the best prepared of any of us.
In what way?
You are extraordinary.
You all were. I’m just human.
Of all of us, you are the only one of whom that is not true.
Does that make me better or worse?
Different. Perhaps augmented, but it is of your own making. You have augmented yourself.
Or by design. Perhaps you needed to do it to survive the trials you are about to face.
Perhaps I bring doom to Gaia’s universe.
Some risks must be taken for survival.